


Only Fools Believe the Tales

by doctorivory



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Historical Inaccuracy, Implied Sexual Content, Just a lot of general shenanigans, Multi, Road to El Dorado AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4412420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorivory/pseuds/doctorivory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a con gone wrong, Wally and Dick find themselves in the legendary city of gold. Mistaken for gods, they are about to make it big until a mischievous blonde and a diabolical high priest throw a wrench in their plans.</p>
<p>Or the Road to El Dorado Museum Heist AU you never knew you needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The More I Want, The More I Steal

**Author's Note:**

> So a couple of notes about this story. I actually wrote this originally for the Young Justice Appreciation Month and never finished it, and recently I rediscovered it and decided to finally put some effort into editing it and finishing it. That being said, it was originally intended to be far shorter (it grew out of control) and just a fun insert of YJ chars into the RtED movie and so there was no effort made to make it more historically accurate or modify it in any way to fit the race and background of the characters, hence the historical inaccuracies warning.
> 
> The beginning especially, but also much of the fic will be following the movie fairly closely, including much of the beginning dialogue being pulled directly from the movie and repurposed so it fit the characters better. The same was done with the actions and events. As the fic goes further along, particularly once the duo actually get to El Dorado, there will be more changes to not only the dialogue but scenes added in and character storylines possibly changed a bit (though likely it will still follow the events of the movie pretty closely just with additions to it). That being said, you don't have to have seen the movie to read the fic most of the events are either shone to happen or are mentioned.
> 
> The final note is that though I don't know if it was ever confirmed, there was a rumor I read that originally Tulio and Miguel, the main characters of the movie, were supposed to be lovers and in the initial script referred to each other as darling. I borrowed from that rumor in building up Dick and Wally's relationship here and it is slightly based off of that (though they have more of a friends with benefits thing going on tbh).

Somewhere in a city on the coast of Spain, the infamous conquistador Hernán Cortés was preparing to sail off to the New World. In a different part of the same city, two thieves were currently attempting to cheat at a game of craps- and, somewhat surprisingly, succeeding at it.

"Seven!" Wally crowed, shaking the dice in his hand and tossing them to the ground. The dice tumbled to the ground and landed on a five and a two, winning him and Dick another round. "Darling!" The redhead called out happily, high fiving his partner and scooping up the dice quickly.

Dick twirled his lute in his hands before striking up a celebratory tune, hip checking the other man with a coy grin. Wally grinned back at him as the two fell into a practiced dance, moving around the circle happily while chanting, "Tons of gold for you, hey! Tons of gold for me, hey! Tons of gold for we, hey!"

The last hey was echoed by their opponent, obviously angry at his loss, "One more roll," he demanded. Dick rolled his eyes and Wally snorted.

"Guys, you're broke," the redhead pointed out smugly, "You've got nothing to bet with." He chuckled to himself gesturing grandly at the money on the ground. The other man smirked, looking at the dark skinned man next to him with a sly grin and his friend raised a cool eyebrow in return.

"Oh yeah?" their opponent reached into his vest to pull out a map, "I've got this." He unfurled it for the crowd to see.

"A map?" Dick questioned in sudden interest, pushing Wally to the side.

"A map," the opponent confirmed, his grin turning smug at the younger man's interest, "To the wonders of the New World."

"A map? That looks like nothing but scribbles!" Wally scoffed, crossing his arms as Dick went to investigate more closely.

"Asterous," Dick breathed as he examined the map, tugging on Wally's shirt excitedly, "We should check this out." He tossed a grin over his shoulder, ignoring his partner's less than enthusiastic expression. The younger man yanked the map from the man's hands, ignoring the angry look he received, and pulled Wally in to take a better look at the map. "Do you know what this is a map to?"

"I'm guessing it's not to Rome?" the redhead responded, looking extremely put out by the whole situation. "Who cares? We've got our money- let's just leave!"

"This is a map to El Dorado," Dick said breathlessly, "The city of gold! This could be it! A whole city made of gold! It makes the coins on the ground look like a trash heap. This could be our fate!"

"Dick, if I believed in such stupid things like fate, do you think I'd be playing with loaded dice?" Wally huffed lowly, shaking his dice at his partner. The younger man pouted and he groaned, knowing what was happening here. "No, no, no." Dick widened his infamous baby blues and his lip quivered. The redhead had seen that look many times on the other man before and his younger siblings as well. It never ended well for him.

Their opponent wrenched the map out of their hands angrily, "I said one more roll! My map for your money." Wally looked over at his partner's wide eyes once more and sighed.

"Fine, you're on, peewee," the redhead said defiantly, straightening up as he faced the taller man. He smirked back, causing Wally to blink in surprise.

"This time though," he said, satisfaction dripping from his voice, "We use my dice." The two con artists shared a glance, with the older suddenly looking worried while Dick simply raised a challenging eyebrow back at him. "You got a problem with that?"

Wally snatched the dice out of the other man's hands and shot another worried glare at his partner, who simply shrugged, not particularly concerned and instead excited over the prospective treasure hunt. He twirled the lute in his hands and started playing it as the redhead rubbed the dice in his hands.

"Come on baby, show me seven," he said through gritted teeth, shooting another glare at Dick as he flirted with one of the bystanders. Wally held the dice out to a different girl, trying to encourage her to blow on the dice with a flirty smile but she turned her nose up at him. He huffed and blew on them himself. "Stop it!" he told Dick who cut off the music with a knowing smirk, "Show. Me. Seven."

Wally tossed the dice and they rolled in front of the coin pile. One fell almost immediately onto a three and the two partners shared an anticipatory look. The lone die spun, teasing the duo before finally falling to a stop on the number four.

"Asterous!" Dick crowed, leaping over to the pile and snatching up the map.

"Hell yes," Wally cheered, falling in front of the money happily and scooping the gold into his pockets. As he pocketed the gold, the dice he had been playing with previously fell from his coat. They tumbled to the ground, landing on seven once again. The other man looked at the dice suspiciously and threw himself on the ground in front of them. He pounded the ground and the dice landed the same way, and again and again. He stood up quickly and tried to lunge at the con artists but the dark skinned man held him back.

"Roy-" he said but the newly dubbed Roy paid him no mind.

"Those dice are loaded!" he accused, his face turning red. The crowd gasped as one, shifting restlessly as the tension between the three men rose. Wally and Dick traded glances, Wally's in sudden fear and Dick's in barely hidden annoyance. He played a tune that had a note of challenge to it as his partner decided what to do.

"What?" Wally questioned angrily, turning fully on his partner, "You gave me loaded dice?" He and Dick had started circling each other as he spoke, but the redhead wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ended up colliding with the armor of a guard.

"Do you see this?" Wally exclaimed mournfully, holding out the dice to the guard, "He gave me loaded dice! Guard, arrest him!" He pointed at Dick behind him and he could practically hear him rolling his eyes before falling into his role.

"You dare to impugn my honor?" He questioned, mock offended as he gestures grandly at the redhead, "He's the one cheating, arrest him!" Dick shoved the other man rather hard and earned an actual glare from his partner. "He tricked these sailors and took their money!"

"Oh, so now I'm the thief?" Wally asked indignantly causing Dick to grin at him manically.

"Yes," he told him with sparkling eyes.

"Take a look in the mirror, darling," the redhead said, nearly shoving the acrobat's face into the guard's chest plate. Dick scoffed at him as they began to attract more and more stares. His gaze flicked all around the makeshift arena, quickly assessing the situation before his eyes lit up mischievously.

"You better give that money back," he informed his partner. Wally raised an eyebrow at him.

"Or what?" he challenged and that caused Dick's lips to quirk up into a hidden smirk, small enough that the crowd wouldn't notice but Wally definitely did. The acrobat reached behind him with practiced ease and drew the sword from the guard's sheath.

"En garde!" Dick declared, quickly falling into a fighting stance.

"En garde yourself!" Wally huffed before falling back into their overly exaggerated roles and reaching behind him, "I will give you the honor of a quick and painless…death." He pulled a knife from a second guard's sheath and his face fell. He recovered quickly though and traded the knife for an actual sword. He lunged at Dick and crossed swords with him. "Any last words?"

Dick smirked full on for the first time in their dispute and Wally's breath hitched when he realized how close their faces were. "I will cut you to ribbons."

"Such mediocrity," Wally scoffed as he pushed the other man away, "Let your  _sword_  do the talking."

"That's what you said last night," Dick said, twirling his sword in his hand expertly, much the same way he had prior with the lute, and the redhead stumbled slightly, "And I will- it will be loquacious to a fault!" He lunged at him and it was only due to Wally's quick reflexes that he managed to jump out of the way in time.

"Take that!" Wally called out as they took turns lunging at each other in a way similar to the friendly sparring they had been doing for years, though he was loath to admit that Dick was holding back on him. "Ha!"

Dick back flipped onto a table and Wally rolled his eyes at the show off. He swung at his partner's ankles as the acrobatic man jumped over the sword easily. "You… mincing, fencing, twit." He punctuated each word with a swing of the sword.

"You fight like my sister!" Dick crowed cockily, his eyes glinting as his pilfered sword clashed with Wally's. The look in his eyes showed that he wasn't going to take being called a twink lying down. The redhead smirked back at him as Dick made his way upwards, having been planning out an escape route as they fought.

"I've fought your sister, that's a compliment!" he teased back, parrying another hit away.

"Braggart!" Dick accused, not bothering to hide his grin anymore.

"Heathen," Wally retaliated joyfully, following the other's path up onto the roof. A tile broke under his foot, and the redhead fell back onto the roof. Dick grinned down at him, putting more weight into his blows and Wally felt a moment of panic. "Shit, shit, not the face, not the face!"

Dick struck once more and suddenly Wally's sword was wrenched from his grip and falling into the acrobat's hand. The crowd gasped below them and the dark haired man soaked up the attention happily. Wally wasted no time in jumping to his feet much to the surprise of the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it's a draw," he declared as Dick threw the swords into the ground by the first guard's feet.

"Thank you all for coming," his partner continued with a bow, "You've been great. See you soon. Adios!" He proceeded to back flip off the roof and Wally jumped down beside him rolling his eyes. He landed on his butt beside a crouching Dick who punched him on the shoulder with a cackle. "Congratulations." He told the redhead.

Wally smirked back at him, "No, that was good, you were good."

"Your sword work could have been better though," Dick continued as though his partner hadn't said anything. The redhead blanched at him.

"Hey- that's not what  _you_  said last night!" he replied defensively and the younger man opened his mouth to tease him before they both felt a gust of hot air hit their faces. They turn towards the source of the wind to find themselves eye to eye with a rather large bull.

"I hope you know, I blame you for this," Dick said, staring up at the bull with a nonplussed expression.

Later, when the pair's run from the bull ended with them accidentally stowing away on a boat to the New World with Cortés of all people Wally made sure to point out that the entire thing was actually Dick's fault- Wally's loaded dice or not.


	2. Quite Frankly We've Had Water Up To Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick has a rather unorthodox escape plan that goes about as well as you'd expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter two! No Artemis quite yet (someone asked if she would be in this chapter- sorry, she'll be appearing in the next one though!) and while it's still following the events of the movie rather solidly the dialogue for this chapter has been changed a lot more than in the first one. Dick and Wally are also a bit drunk off of the seawater by the end of it.

Dick was watching Wally bang his head against a column with waning interest and next to no concern when an apple fell through the bars and hit the younger man on the head. He caught the apple as it rolled off his head and spared a contemplating glance at the ceiling. Cortés’s horse was peering through the grate above him and ideas tumbled around in his brain at an increasing pace.

“So… How’s that plan coming along?” he asked his partner as he tossed the apple from hand to hand. Wally straightened in response and held out his hand.

“Wait- I think I’m getting something,” he hit his head on the post twice more as Dick rolled his eyes.  “Okay! Here’s the plan,” he grabbed his partner around the neck and dragged him closer, “In the middle of the night, you and I will grab some provisions, hijack one of those longboats,” Wally used a cup and other random items found around the cell to demonstrate his point, “And then, we row back to Spain!”

The younger man raised his eyebrows at his partner, “That’s your plan? We take a rowboat back to Spain?”

“That’s pretty much it,” the redhead agreed, shrugging his shoulders tiredly.

“Well, I like it,” Dick told him, leaning against his hand with a smirk, “How do we get on the deck?” Wally opened his mouth to respond, picking up the cup he had used in his demonstration before glaring at his partner.

“Do you have a better plan, smart ass?” he huffed, crossing his arms. The younger man grinned cheekily at him, rolling the apple around in his hand.

“In fact I do,” he crowed smugly, nudging his put out cellmate, “Give me a lift up.” He was already practically on Wally’s back so the man complied with minimal grumbling.

“What exactly are expecting to accomplish?” the redhead asked, trying to see what his partner was doing but instead just got the other man’s butt shoved in his face. Any other time he might not mind but it really wasn’t what he was aiming for at the moment.

“Shut up,” Dick said, bumping Wally’s head with his hip and grasped onto the bars with one hand and thrust the apple out with the other. He whistled quietly, hoping not to attract too much attention but the deck was nearly silent as the sun set. “Altivo!” Cortés’s horse trotted over to the brig in sudden interest, sniffing at the apple excitedly.  “Ah, ah, you have to do something for me first.” The dark haired man said, moving the apple away from the horse. Altivo looked offended- or at least as offended as a horse could be. “I need you to get me a prybar- a long piece of metal with a hook at the end.”

“Dick, you’re talking to a horse,” Wally groused. Dick ignored him.

“That’s it, Altivo, a prybar!” he called after the retreating horse brightly.

“It’s a dumb horse- I’m pretty sure he doesn’t understand what a ‘prybar’ is,” the redhead told him, leaning back so he could glare up at his partner, “And get your ass off of my face.”

“That’s-” Dick began but he cut him off.

“If you say ‘that’s not what you said last night’ then I’m dropping you right here and now,” Wally warned with a scowl. The younger man grinned down at him.

“Like that would hurt me,” he responded smugly but before anymore could be said a ring of keys fell beside the two as Altivo whinnied above them. The pair stared at the keys in slight shock as Dick slipped down in Wally’s arms.

“Well,” Wally began, side eyeing Dick’s smirk, “It’s _not_ a prybar.” The acrobat smacked his partner’s shoulder and the redhead let him go.

“Now all we have to do is wait for nightfall and we can make our escape,” Dick proclaimed, pocketing the apple thoughtlessly. Wally fell back against the post he had been hitting his head on with a groan.

“What do we do until then?”

“Hopefully something more productive than banging your head against the wall,” Dick told him, tossing the apple into the air.

“We’re stuck in the brig, what can we do that is in anyway productive?” The redhead questioned, gesturing grandly at the ceiling.

“Well, I could bang _you_ against the wall instead,” he grinned at the ceiling, giving his partner a sly look.

“ _Dude_ , not the time.”

The escape plan could have gone better, Wally mused later, trapped on a rowboat in the middle of the ocean with only his partner and a warhorse for company. They were completely out of rations and the sun had set several times since they had escaped the ship by the skin of their teeth. Looking at them now, he knew that if they didn’t find something to eat they wouldn’t have much longer to live.

“We could always eat the horse,” Wally suggested aimlessly as the seagulls drifted lazily above them. Altivo huffed at him, blowing his dirty hair out of his face with one puff of air.

“We’re not eating the horse,” Dick practically croaked and the redhead huffed out a laugh.

“Looks like this is it,” he said, “Our last great adventure.” He leaned his head back onto his partner’s shoulder.

“We are not about to have a feel good session before we die, I refuse to participate in this,” Dick groaned but his hand reached up to touch Wally’s hair anyway and he ran his fingers through the red strands.

“So you _aren’t_ going to confess your undying love to me?” the redhead asked with a tired grin.

“Not on your life,” his partner scoffed, leaning his cheek against the other’s head.

“Which is about to end, from the looks of it,” Wally pointed out.

“When did you become so pessimistic?”

“When I realized I was doomed to spend the rest of my life with you and a horse.”

“You make it sound like we’re married.”

“Aren’t we?”

Dick paused before shrugging, “You’ve got me there.” Wally smiled and let his hand fall out of the boat to run his fingers through the water, feeling the other man do the same. “What does that make the horse?”

“Why does the horse have to be anything?

“He’s our stepson.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Of course it does- I mean he’s a horse he can’t be our actual son.”

“I think you’ve drunken too muck sea water,” Dick laughed, knocking elbows affectionately with the other man. His hand came back down but instead of hitting water it hit sand. He sat up suddenly, causing Wally to crash into the bottom of the boat with a yelp.

“What was that for?” he whined, rubbing his head as he tried to regain his balance. “I thought we were having a moment.”

“Wally, look! Land!” his partner crowed, hopping out of the boat and falling onto the sand with a happy shout. The redhead stared at the sand in shock before pushing himself up and tumbling over the side of the boat. He didn’t really care about the fall however, and instead just ran his fingers through the damp sand, quickly coating himself in it with a breathy grin. Altivo leaped over him and landed hard further up the bank, spraying dry sand everywhere and giving Wally a mouthful of it.

The redhead started sputtering angrily, trying to get the salty taste from his mouth and was about to leap up and chase after the horse when he heard Dick’s laugh. It was as free and easy as it had been back in Spain and despite only having been on the rowboat for about a week he felt like it’d been years. It was like a breath of fresh air.

As Dick’s laugh died down into half hysterical giggles the two grinned at each other stupidly, reveling in their sudden hope for survival. The acrobat finally tore his gaze away, his face flushing beneath his dark skin, and he swore under his breath in amazement.

“What?” Wally asked, pushing himself to his feet with a groan, having been scrunched up on the boat for entirely too long. He turned to look at what had Dick awestruck to see two skeletons with swords having pierced their chests years before and yelped, falling back into the water. He climbed back into the boat and just barely managed to avoid being stomped on by Altivo as he crashed into the boat after him. When he saw Dick still on his knees, looking around the beach in growing excitement he blanched. “What are you waiting for? Some kook with a sword to stab you through the chest?”

“What?” Dick asked distracted, “Oh you mean the skeletons? Are you just now noticing those?”

“Just now-” Wally sputtered indignantly, something he found he was doing more and more lately. “What the hell are you staring at then?”

“You don’t see it?” his partner asked, leaping to his feet and pulling a map from his shirt. The redhead narrowed his eyes at the scroll of paper.

“Is that the map? The one that got us into this mess? You’ve had that this whole time?!” he exclaimed, his voice cracking as he became more worked up. Dick waved his hand at the older man.

“That’s not the point, Wally, look!” he shoved the map into Wally’s face as the redhead stalked up to his partner. He tapped the first picture and then gestured at a rock further down the shoreline. “It’s real.” Dick’s voice dropped to a whisper, breathless from excitement. His partner squinted at the map and then up at the rock skeptically. It _did_ look similar but then again the map looked nothing like any map he’d seen before anyway.

“El Dorado isn’t real,” the redhead said resolutely, “Plus, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to meet whoever killed Yorrick over there.” He jabbed a finger at the two skeletons but Dick kept staring at him with the same excited eyes. Wally could already feel his walls breaking at the earnest look in those baby blues.

“Would you rather get back in the boat and try to row back to Spain? Because that worked so well last time,” he scoffed though he couldn’t keep the grin from his face, “This could be our chance! Imagine it, darling- El Dorado, the City of Gold! We may never get another chance like this!” His gleeful grin could power the freaking sun by this point and Wally knew he was done for. He gestured helplessly with the map before looking over at Altivo, who just stared back at him with a put out look- like he already knew they were all done for. He looked back at Dick and sighed.

“Fine, it’s like I said- our last great adventure,” the redhead relented and his partner nearly leapt ten feet in the air with renewed excitement.

“Asterous! Let’s follow that trail!”


	3. No Place for the Traveler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Wally's trip through the jungle is less than pleasant but rather successful- of course, that success might be short lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is later than I intended but what can you do. Mainly only the chief and priest's dialogue is taken from the movie, so hey I'm moving more and more away from the movie script ;) Also, sorry if the entering ED scene is a little mushy but that scene gives me such strong nostalgia and I couldn't help but gush in the writing of it.

As Wally had predicted, the trail that Dick decided to ‘blaze’ wasn’t exactly easy to follow, and after going in circles several times and continuously getting lost, the redhead was at his wits’ end. He was already done entirely with this ‘adventure’ and watching Dick take the time to hack away at the vines along a rather small pond was pushing his patience.

“Wally, what are you doing?” Dick asked as the redhead entered the water, though he didn’t stop cutting away at the vines. Wally huffed, wading deeper into the water and refusing to look at his partner.

“Doing it your way will take entirely too long,” he told him resolutely, “The faster we get through this godforsaken jungle the faster we get paid.”

“You are so fucking impatient,” the acrobat huffed, “Who knows what the hell is in that water!”

“I’ll be fine,” Wally huffed back, pulling himself out of the water soon after and waiting impatiently for Dick to cut through the last several inches of vine.

An hour later Dick was prying leaches from Wally’s back with an exasperated look on his face, “What did I tell you?”

“I know,” the redhead groaned, “You don’t have to rub it in. Are you almost done?” He asked, somewhat hopefully. Dick snorted as he pulled off another leech, causing his partner to wince.

“Oh yeah, there’s only one more on your back,” he commented and Wally brightened up slightly, “Too bad we haven’t done the ones in your pants yet.” The older man slumped forward, his head colliding with his knees in exasperation. “And what have we learned from this?”

“That nature is trying to kill me?”

“Well, there is that,” Dick amended, “But the real lesson is: stop being so effing impatient.” He smacked Wally on the back of the head hard as he dropped the last leech to the ground. “Now, darling, take off your pants.” Wally gulped at the predatory gleam in his partner’s eyes. “Don’t look so wary- you normally love it when I say that to you.”

“Yeah, well normally I don’t have blood sucking leeches attached everywhere,” he scoffed and the younger man continued to grin at him, “ _Shut up_.” He groaned, knowing that this whole ordeal was a terrible idea.

The piranha incident, the monkey’s stealing their clothing, and the subsequent leeches only furthered his point.

By the time they had nearly reached the end of the map, Dick had thought he had convinced Wally that this could turn into something worthwhile. Then they fell off the cliff and found their way to the final destination shown on the map and his hopes withered.

“This is it?” the redhead said, staring at the giant stone slab in disbelief, “This is _it_? I waded through ponds full of leeches and who knows what else for _this_? A giant fucking rock?” Dick was staring at the giant slab as well with a calculating look on his face. He walked around to the other side of the rock to look at it before looking in the direction of the waterfall with a skeptical glance. Wally continued ranting though his partner paid him no mind as he got back onto Altivo.

“Could it be?” he wondered to himself. His partner realized he was being ignored and grabbed Dick by the scruff of his shirt. “What the hell are you doing?” the dark haired man exclaimed, flailing as Wally yanked him over Altivo’s back. He quickly righted himself, making sure to kick his partner in the thigh as he did so and stole the reigns from the redhead, wanting to head closer to the waterfall for further investigation.

“The better question is: what are you doing? There’s nothing here! We’ve been duped! We need to get out of this hell and find some way to get back to Spain,” Wally told him, trying to push Dick’s hands away but the younger man’s arms were locked tight around his waist. They started struggling for it with Altivo neighing angrily beneath them. Before either of them could push the other off the horse, a lone woman appeared from the mist and collided with them.

Altivo reared back as the blonde woman hit the ground hard, a wrapped package rolling from her arms and Wally looked passed the rock to see a group of warriors charging at them. The pair didn’t have time to flee as almost immediately the group was upon them, surrounding them. The warriors glared down at the girl, so she threw her hastily retrieved package at Wally. This surprised the warriors and the redhead equally and he quickly threw it back. She glared at him fiercely and the two started a rather aggressive game of catch.

After a minute of this, Dick slammed his elbow into Wally’s side and his partner turned to glare at him, causing him to get smacked in the face with the round package. He turned his glare on the unapologetic blonde woman but before he could say anything the lead warrior interrupted.

The leader thrust his spear up at the two Spaniards and Wally flinched back, nearly going cross eyed as it was neared his face. Dick gripped the reigns in one hand while his other was fingering his waist where he had hidden a knife stolen from a sleeping guard the night of their escape. At the behest of the leader, the warriors close in on them and yank the woman off the ground.

The three are lead towards the waterfall and Dick grinned to himself, muttering ‘I knew it’ under his breath. Wally looked over his shoulder at his partner as they are being lead under the water but Dick just tightened his arms around the redhead’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder.

Behind the waterfall was a large cavern that lead all the way into a dark tunnel, framed by stone arches that seemed impossibly old and carved with intrinsic designs. The two Spaniards let out their own awed breaths, staring around them as they were led to a small boat.

“I am so done with row boats,” Wally muttered and Dick pulled his partner down into the boat with a roll of his eyes. As Wally rubbed his arm and glared at him, the blonde woman smirked at the pair. He glared at her as well but said nothing, quickly becoming distracted once again by the might and beauty of the cave.

The tunnel seemed to go on forever, and Wally and Dick had their backs to the end of it. They were both rather wary to turn around, not wanting to bare their backs to the warriors. After a while, the cloth on the object the woman held fell away and it glinted gold in the sunlight. Wally startled at the sight of the solid gold object, while Dick’s eyes widened at the light, turning around finally to see a vine covered arch shade the exit of the tunnel. He nudged his partner, prompting the redhead to turn as they drifted under the arch of vines.

What lay on the other side took their breath away. The sunlight shone brightly throughout the vast city, reflecting off of every surface, much of which had been covered in gold. Children ran along the side of the river, pausing in their playing at the sight of the boat. Colorful birds flew above them and fish even more so swam below them, many of them large enough to swallow ten of Cortes’s men.

Golden butterflies flew over their heads and a one landed in Dick’s hair, shining as bright as his smile and Wally felt excitement mix with awe as he took in the sight. The citizens of the golden city all flocked to the edges of the river, staring at the two Spaniards with as much awe as the Spaniards were with them.

The initial awe bled away to fear as they were unloaded from the boat and were encouraged to remount their horse.

“It was nice knowing you, darling,” Wally told Dick, eyeing the warrior escort with barely hidden fear.

“Wally, I’m sorry about that girl in Barcelona,” his partner responded as he gripped the reigns tighter and the redhead froze, narrowing his eyes at the younger man.

“Behold!” a bald man boomed from atop the stairs to the temple where they had been led. He had a rather sinister smile on his face as he started down the stairs, “As the prophecies foretold, the time of judgment has come!” he gestured grandly at the citizens who looked at him with a sort of reverence. Another man, one of great girth- tall and broad shouldered- with obviously fine clothing walked to meet the bald man at the top of the next set of stairs. He rolled his eyes as the man carried on grandly and ignored the smirk sent his way. “Citizens, did I not predict that the gods would come?” The citizens of El Dorado turned to look at Wally and Dick, who briefly looked behind themselves before sharing a contemplative glance.

“My lords,” the bald man chuckled, bowing grandly as he stopped in front of the two con artists, “I am Lex, your devoted high priest and speaker for the gods.” The other man had followed the other down the stairs and moved in quickly to introduce himself as well.

“I am Chief Clark. What names may we call you?” Clark implored with a kind and earnest smile. Wally and Dick glanced at each other briefly again before making to introduce themselves. While they were going on, the blonde woman tried to sneak away from her hiding place behind Altivo. Lex leapt at the woman with a predatory smile and dragged her by the wrist to the front of the crowd.

“I see you’ve caught this temple-robbing thief,” he smirked at the woman who glared back, “How would you have us punish her? Sacrifice?” Her eyes widened and she started frantically shaking her head, yanking herself out of the high priest’s grip.

“My lord,” she protested, looking slightly sick at calling Lex any sort of title, “I am not a thief. The gods sent me a vision to…” she trailed off trying to think up a good excuse, “Bring them a tribute from the temple to help guide them here. My only wish is to serve the gods.” She kept her head bowed before the priest as she couldn’t keep the distaste out of her face. She glared at the two con artists over her shoulder and motioned for them to speak up. Lex looked imploringly at what he thought were gods and the two exchanged glances.

“What are you waiting for?” Wally said, trying to look intimidating, “Release her!” Lex paused for only a moment before following the redhead’s orders. He looked at her with barely concealed distaste as he pushed her towards the temple steps.

“You can begin by returning this to its rightful place,” the high priest commanded her as she made a face over her shoulder at the two con artists. Once she was on her way Lex turned back around to give them a sleazy smile.

“My lords,” Clark began, stepping up to talk to the two supposed gods once more, “Why now do you choose to visit us?”  Lex rolled his eyes and pulled the chief back, earning a glare.

“Even you do not have the right to _question_ the gods!” he hissed.

“He’s right!” Wally jumped in despite the fact the two leaders were trying to keep the conversation hushed. Dick startled slightly and glared at the back of his partner’s head, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing. “Do not question us, or we shall be forced to release our awesome and terrible power!” he paused for dramatic effect and Dick groaned quietly into his hand. “And you don’t want that.”

Lex looked taken aback and before becoming excited, “But yes, we do!”

“You do?” Wally was now the one who looked taken aback and Dick started glaring at him again.

“Yes! Visit your wrath upon this nonbeliever!” the high priest crowed, gesturing at the chief while Clark rolled his eyes. Dick sighed loudly and grabbed Wally’s arm.

“One moment,” he told the leaders and pulled the redhead away. Once they were out of the other’s hearing range he whirled around on his partner. “Do we need to have _another_ talk about getting ahead of yourself?”

“I’m sorry, I got a little carried away!” Wally protested.

“ _Way_ , away,” Dick affirmed, crossing his arms as he glared at his partner. As the pair kept bickering, Lex gave the chief a smug smile, earning another eye roll. The pair’s bickering got louder as Wally smacked Dick upside the head, and the ground started shaking. Amazed, the people of El Dorado turned to stare up at the smoking mountain behind them.

As the voices of the two supposed gods got louder, the rumbling increased and Lex looked excited at the oncoming destruction. The citizens of the golden city started muttering to themselves in awe and fear, but just as the volcano looked like it was about to burst, it stopped.

“QUIET!” Dick shouted, pushing Wally away and the masses fell silent. The volcano sputtered as if offended and the smoke retracted sheepishly. The pair of Spaniards realized that everyone had fallen silent and turned around to find the city on their knees. They shared a glance before Wally thrusts his arms out triumphantly. Dick sighed to himself but threw his own arms out, reveling slightly in the attention being given to them.

Lex was once again filled with glee despite the fact that the destruction he had wanted never came and he greeted them graciously as they reapproached the temple steps, “My lords!” He cried as he bowed dramatically, “Let me show you to your temple.” Dick and Wally shared grins as Lex and Clark had a small standoff.

The pair were led up the large steps all the way to the top, leaving Wally slightly winded and rather put off by Dick being seemingly unaffected. Once they actually entered the temple, all of the exhaustion fell away. The rooms was made of gold like much of the city, and was covered in various clothes of bright colors, lending a pleasant image for the two Spaniards.

“To commemorate your arrival,” Lex interrupted the pair’s awe with another reverent bow, “I propose a reverent ceremony at dawn.” Clark inched his way in, giving a kind grin as he took his own opportunity.

“Then perhaps I could prepare a glorious feast for you tonight!” he proposed and the high priest gave him a glare out of the corner of his eyes as he turned back to the two supposed gods.

“Which would you prefer?” Dick shot Wally a look, raising his eyebrows and the redhead nodded back.

“Both.”

“Both.”

The two leaders bowed graciously and left with murmured ‘my lords’, closing the curtains to the temple.

“And so dawns the age of the Jaguar,” Lex sighed happily, gazing over the city as they came to a stop atop the stairs, “Happy New Year.” He wished with a smug grin before continuing down the steps, leaving Clark rolling his eyes at the top.


	4. Being Worshipped Is A Breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Wally reluctantly gain a new member of their team and find out that the people of El Dorado really know how to throw a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm it's been a while since I posted anything. What can I say, college kicks my ass and takes priority. Some of the dialogue is still taken from the movie. 
> 
> For those who are curious Xibalba is essentially the Mayan Underworld (I'm not sure if it's the proper name for the region butttt) and the giant whirlpool in the movie (obviously intended to be the Sacred Cenote or "Chen Ku" which is a real place and was thought to be one of three entrances to Xibalba).

Back in the temple the two con artists were celebrating, their laughter echoing off the walls. Wally threw his arms around his partner in his euphoria, hugging the other man close. When they parted they kept their foreheads pressed together.

“They actually think we’re gods,” Dick breathed, giggles slipping through his attempts to calm down.

“We’re in an entire city of _suckers_ ,” Wally proclaimed equally gleeful, “We just have to keep this up long enough to load up on the gold and then get the hell out of here! We’ll be living like kings!”

“We’ll be living like gods,” Dick corrected with a smug grin.

“Hello,” a voice suddenly interrupted and the pair jumped apart. The blonde woman snickered quietly, placing her hands on her hips as the two con artists stared at her.

“Depart, mortal,” Wally told her, finally gathering himself, “Before we strike you with a lightning bolt!” The blonde woman ignored him as she picked dust off the stolen statue with a sly smirk on her face. Dick stared at her with an expression of mild interest and when she locked eyes with him he understood. “Beware the wrath of the gods!” the redhead continued, waving his fingers like claws and making a ‘kck-kck’ sound in the back of his throat.

“Save it for the high priest,” she told him, rolling her eyes, “You’re going to need it.” Wally made the ‘kck-kck’ sound again and Dick smacked him on the arm.

“Wally, shut up. She knows.” The redhead stopped and stared at the woman and she let out a huff of laughter.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, boys,” she reassured as the two Spaniards stared at her, one in horror and the other warily, “’My only wish is to serve the gods’.” Her tone was much more sarcastic the second time around and Dick’s lips twitched slightly.

“How?” he asked crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. He understood where this game was headed.

“Well, if you guys want the gold, then you don’t want to get caught, right?” she told them, placing the statue back in its proper place, “You’re going to need my help.”

“What makes you think we need your help?” Wally accused, crossing his arms. Dick and the blonde woman gave him identical unimpressed looks.

“Are you serious?” she asked, repeating his ‘kck-kck’ noise.

“She’s got you there,” Dick told him.

“Who’s side are you on?” the redhead accused, glaring at his partner.

“Whichever side gets me the gold,” his partner shrugged carelessly, turning his gaze back on the blonde.

“Who are you?” Wally exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “And what’s your angle?”

“Artemis,” the blonde introduced, “And I want in.”

“In?”

“On the scam,” she shrugged. Wally sputtered.

“What scam? Why would you think there’s a-” he gave up suddenly and instead decided to scowl at her, “Why?”

“So I can get out,” Artemis pointed behind her, towards the entrance of the temple and the city.

“I thought you just said you wanted in!” Wally exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air again.

“She wants in, so she can get out,” Dick elaborated, “But why?”

“Ha,” she scoffed, “You think you two are the only ones who dream of better things? Adventure? You’ve got your reasons and I’ve got mine. Let’s not make this personal, okay?” She waltzed over to the two con artists and threw her arms around them. “So when you guys leave, I’m coming with you.”

Wally quickly threw her arm off and backed away, “Yeah, no. That isn’t happening. We don’t need your help.” He turned away and crossed his arms refusing to look at Artemis. She turned to raise her eyebrows at Dick who just rolled his eyes in response.

“Fine then,” she shrugged and headed towards the exit, making sure that Wally could watch her leave, “Then I’m sure you know the proper rituals for blessing a tribute, the holiest days of the calendar, and of course, all about,” she paused and turned to smirk at him, “Xibalba?” She winked at him and then turned on her heel, walking away as he stared after her with a surprised look on her face. “See you at the execution.”

Wally nearly fell on his face trying to stop her from leaving, grabbing her by her shoulders. She laughed as he did so, catching Dick’s teasing wink.

“Deal?” Artemis asked, holding out her hand for the redhead to take. Wally stared at her for a moment longer but made no move to take her hand.

“Deal,” Dick chimed in, hip checking his partner to the side and taking Artemis’s hand. She shared a cheeky grin with him as Wally sputtered off to the side.

“Wait, wait, no deal yet,” he protested, “A trial run first!” He glared at Dick and hissed quietly to him, “What happened to being partners and making joint decisions?” The younger man shrugged carelessly.

“No need to discuss when I already know you’re going to agree,” he pointed out and Wally sputtered again.

“Well then,” Artemis said, interrupting the pair, “I guess you won’t be wanting these back?” She presented Wally’s dice to him and shook them teasingly. He grappled with his vest, trying to figure out when exactly she had grabbed them.

“How’d you get those?” he asked, startled.

“The real question is: where was she keeping them?” Dick threw out with a grin and Artemis smirked at the acrobat. She then clapped her hands together and moved to a chest that had been placed against the wall. Rifling through it quickly, she tossed several items at the pair.

“Great! Put these on! You’re public is waiting,” she informed them and plopped herself down on a cushion by the door. The two con artists traded glances before shrugging.

Dick had already dropped his pants and Wally was about to start undressing before he realized that Artemis was still seated in the room, “Do you mind?” He asked with a scowl, gesturing at her to get out.

“No,” she smirked but rolled her eyes when he glared at her, “Fine, just don’t take too long.” The blonde winked at them both as she waltzed out of the room, swaying her hips as she did so. “See you later, partners.”

“That’s partner-in-training!” Wally called after her.

“Never thought you were one for being modest,” Dick commented as he pulled the clothes that Artemis had provided them with on. Wally huffed to himself as he began to undress.

“The nerve of that woman,” he said, ignoring his partner’s comment.

“You just don’t want to admit that you think she’s hot,” the acrobat pointed out, nudging his partner. The redhead glared at him.

“That is sooo not it,” Wally protested and Dick rolled his eyes.

“You keep telling yourself that, darling. Besides, I never said I didn’t agree,” he told him. The older man gaped at him and Dick took the opportunity to yank the redhead’s shirt off. “Now hurry up. Dios, the one time you aren’t in a rush is the one time we have to be.”

\--

Wally wasn’t sure what was in that wine he’d been handed, or in the cigar, but when he and Dick stumbled back into the temple later that night, they were both pretty far gone. His partner giggled quietly, the sound much less sinister than it typically was when he was sober.

“This will be our greatest con yet!” Dick proclaimed, stumbling forward. He fell into the redhead’s arms and he moved them towards the bed mats that littered the ground in front of the altar. Dick tipped over and pulled Wally down with him, causing the pair to fall into giggles again. He rolled over so that he was hovering over the redhead.

“I swear, I don’t care how drunk I am but if you make some bitch ass comment about how you’re going to ‘worship me like the god I’m pretending to be’ I will leave right now,” Wally informed him and Dick giggled again, covering his mouth as his shoulders shook.

“No promises,” he said before leaning in. 


End file.
